ROC
2007-09-14, 4:47am
Aw, come on now. Didn't anyone ever tell you that if you play with fire, you're gonna get burned? I haven't laughed this hard for a long time. This thread was so priceless, I took the liberty of pasting together your witty mistakes (sans extraneous comments). Sombody should write a book! I hope I haven't offended anyone by putting these together; left names, emoticons, etc. out, but you know who you are!
Enjoy!
Rachel
Newbie Mistakes For Laughs
I just spent the last week using silver pink thinking it was ivory. I couldn't figure out why some of my beads were looking vaguely metallic or why I kept seeing a hint of pink in the base! (I usually work at night because of heat issues so the lighting isn't the best.)
Don't etch your beads in a glass . . . .
Don't try to catch flying marbles with your collarbone. Ouch and funny.
I always wanted to poke, tweak or otherwise touch hot glass - ouch!
Don't ever turn to talk over your shoulder to a friend. I speak from experience that the tip of your index finger doesn't feel great after spending a split second in the flame.
i just made a twistie (and i use that term loosely).. i snapped it off the madrel, and picked it up. with my fingers. D'OH! suprisingly, no blisters. but i am done for the day. i figure this a sign that it is time to do laundry.
1) You don't have to twirl the f*cking mandrel like propeller when making a round bead. Sloooowwww it down. Let the bead shape itself.
2) Don't wipe hot rods on your shirt to clean them. If you do, get used to your husband asking you "who's been whipping you today?"
3) If the bead looks and acts like dripping honey, it's probably time to remove it from the flame.
4) If the length of the bead is from the flame to the desktop, and the bottom of the bead is shaped like a puddle, it's DEFINITELY time to remove the bead from the flame.
5) Don't try and catch hot glass that drops towards your lap by closing your thighs quickly. No no, bad thing.
6) Before blowing through glass that costs $3000 a pound and is only available every other month in 1/4 lb increments if you have 6 forms of ID and four friends wiling to vouch for your character and have a notary sign and send the check federal express overnight along with 4 pints of blood, you might want to read up on forums about what other people have tried, so you can avoid ending up with a set of muddy, cracked beads with an average cost of $50 each.
keep a mental picture of what you want to do. don't get distracted by how cool the glowing, molten glass looks. i tend to get distracted by the glass and lose track of what i set out to do.
I picked up my first twistie attempt to admire it: not once but twice! I figured it would have cooled in the 2 seconds it sat after I dropped it the first time.
Don't touch the end of a mandrel while it sits in a hot kiln. I've burned myself not once but TWICE trying to separate two beads that stuck together while placing a newly finished bead in the kiln. My fingerprints will never be the same.
Use tweezers when picking up something from the "mug warmer" plate.
Make sure your elbow pads are clear of all glass pieces.
Don't try holding a hot bead on a mandrel and the newly used glass rod in the same hand while trying to pick up something with the other hand. Put the rod DOWN.
Don't try flicking off flaking bead release with your finger.
Burnishing in silver leaf of foil... anyone else catch theme selves Almost using your finger ?
Chants to self.....Your not leafing a frame , your not leafing a frame , your not leafing a Damn Frame you idiot you .
I had no idea what a striking color was. I had a rod I thought was a light light amber and I thought I was going insane when Red beads came out of the kiln. I swore up and down that they werent mine... that I didn't own any red, never bought red, how could they be red?
It took me a week to figure out what the deal was... not to mention bright red and dark amber look really weird together.... i'll see if I can find the beads and post them... I'm sure they are in my daughters "play bead" box.
So this and then also that no matter how sexy a low cut shirt may be, it is NEVER a good idea to wear one while torching cause then it's a sure thing that your light amber will get all shocky and explode into many molten shards of flying debris which will land snuggly between your boobs making it impossible for you to wear said low cut sexy shirt for the next three weeks until the blisters and red swelling go away -- not to mention the scars that even vitamin E cream won't lighten. Yup -- being a newbie is a wonderful thing.
Don't make the first pound of glass you buy be opalina nile green, then wonder why it's so hard melt and why it always has black webbing all over it.
And if you take a class and the first thing your teacher does is teach you how to pull stringer, don't think, "that's nice, but I'll never use that." Doh!
In my first glass, I thought the black plastic tip protectors on new tweezers were part of the design, and didn't take them off before grabbing some hot glass. I was so nervous and excited that I was trying just to follow instructions, and that bit was never mentioned... The instructor though I was pretty dumb.
That was three years go, but I'm a kiln-owning newbie now, and just a few days ago I made a complex, 45 minute floral bead and was about to put it in the kiln when I realized it wasn't hot at all. I'd set it to run at the controller, but it was off at the pyrometer (which I always do when I finish a session, for safety... *usually* I turn it on at the start of a session...). So I had to hold the bead in the flame for 20 minutes while the kiln warmed up. Which didn't help the bead. >:I Dumb!
Those darn marvers stay really really hot for a long long time after you have been rolling a nice hot bead on it! Never ever use a rod of glass to scratch your head! Burned hair smells really bad! Never pick any part of a bead that cracked of the mandrel and thats not why those little glasses of water are on your bench! ie (to put you burned finger in so ya don't tell the teacher what you did!) It's really to cool of your tools!
Cant take the time to read everyones mistakes so if this happened to someone else I'm sorry but my most awfull mistake was to wear a "V" neck blouse to torch in, Yep right down the front between the two girls
Oh, and where there's smoke, there definately IS fire. Don't ask me how I know.
Oh yeah, and *sometimes* when there is smoke, it might from your didys (now melted) and oven mitt that you left on top of the kiln. And if you try to get them off the kiln quickly and drop them on your synthetic carpet, it will melt and smoke like crazy too.
Or it might be the new t-shirt you meant to change before torching. Good thing I had my granny pants on!
Don't use the butter knife you have just had near the flame to shape a bead to then swat a mosquito on your arm...
Picking glass out of your bare feet hurts...skin smells when it burns. . . so do fingernails. . . and don't roll your bead in a plastic jar w/ frit..they tend to melt
Enjoy!
Rachel
Newbie Mistakes For Laughs
I just spent the last week using silver pink thinking it was ivory. I couldn't figure out why some of my beads were looking vaguely metallic or why I kept seeing a hint of pink in the base! (I usually work at night because of heat issues so the lighting isn't the best.)
Don't etch your beads in a glass . . . .
Don't try to catch flying marbles with your collarbone. Ouch and funny.
I always wanted to poke, tweak or otherwise touch hot glass - ouch!
Don't ever turn to talk over your shoulder to a friend. I speak from experience that the tip of your index finger doesn't feel great after spending a split second in the flame.
i just made a twistie (and i use that term loosely).. i snapped it off the madrel, and picked it up. with my fingers. D'OH! suprisingly, no blisters. but i am done for the day. i figure this a sign that it is time to do laundry.
1) You don't have to twirl the f*cking mandrel like propeller when making a round bead. Sloooowwww it down. Let the bead shape itself.
2) Don't wipe hot rods on your shirt to clean them. If you do, get used to your husband asking you "who's been whipping you today?"
3) If the bead looks and acts like dripping honey, it's probably time to remove it from the flame.
4) If the length of the bead is from the flame to the desktop, and the bottom of the bead is shaped like a puddle, it's DEFINITELY time to remove the bead from the flame.
5) Don't try and catch hot glass that drops towards your lap by closing your thighs quickly. No no, bad thing.
6) Before blowing through glass that costs $3000 a pound and is only available every other month in 1/4 lb increments if you have 6 forms of ID and four friends wiling to vouch for your character and have a notary sign and send the check federal express overnight along with 4 pints of blood, you might want to read up on forums about what other people have tried, so you can avoid ending up with a set of muddy, cracked beads with an average cost of $50 each.
keep a mental picture of what you want to do. don't get distracted by how cool the glowing, molten glass looks. i tend to get distracted by the glass and lose track of what i set out to do.
I picked up my first twistie attempt to admire it: not once but twice! I figured it would have cooled in the 2 seconds it sat after I dropped it the first time.
Don't touch the end of a mandrel while it sits in a hot kiln. I've burned myself not once but TWICE trying to separate two beads that stuck together while placing a newly finished bead in the kiln. My fingerprints will never be the same.
Use tweezers when picking up something from the "mug warmer" plate.
Make sure your elbow pads are clear of all glass pieces.
Don't try holding a hot bead on a mandrel and the newly used glass rod in the same hand while trying to pick up something with the other hand. Put the rod DOWN.
Don't try flicking off flaking bead release with your finger.
Burnishing in silver leaf of foil... anyone else catch theme selves Almost using your finger ?
Chants to self.....Your not leafing a frame , your not leafing a frame , your not leafing a Damn Frame you idiot you .
I had no idea what a striking color was. I had a rod I thought was a light light amber and I thought I was going insane when Red beads came out of the kiln. I swore up and down that they werent mine... that I didn't own any red, never bought red, how could they be red?
It took me a week to figure out what the deal was... not to mention bright red and dark amber look really weird together.... i'll see if I can find the beads and post them... I'm sure they are in my daughters "play bead" box.
So this and then also that no matter how sexy a low cut shirt may be, it is NEVER a good idea to wear one while torching cause then it's a sure thing that your light amber will get all shocky and explode into many molten shards of flying debris which will land snuggly between your boobs making it impossible for you to wear said low cut sexy shirt for the next three weeks until the blisters and red swelling go away -- not to mention the scars that even vitamin E cream won't lighten. Yup -- being a newbie is a wonderful thing.
Don't make the first pound of glass you buy be opalina nile green, then wonder why it's so hard melt and why it always has black webbing all over it.
And if you take a class and the first thing your teacher does is teach you how to pull stringer, don't think, "that's nice, but I'll never use that." Doh!
In my first glass, I thought the black plastic tip protectors on new tweezers were part of the design, and didn't take them off before grabbing some hot glass. I was so nervous and excited that I was trying just to follow instructions, and that bit was never mentioned... The instructor though I was pretty dumb.
That was three years go, but I'm a kiln-owning newbie now, and just a few days ago I made a complex, 45 minute floral bead and was about to put it in the kiln when I realized it wasn't hot at all. I'd set it to run at the controller, but it was off at the pyrometer (which I always do when I finish a session, for safety... *usually* I turn it on at the start of a session...). So I had to hold the bead in the flame for 20 minutes while the kiln warmed up. Which didn't help the bead. >:I Dumb!
Those darn marvers stay really really hot for a long long time after you have been rolling a nice hot bead on it! Never ever use a rod of glass to scratch your head! Burned hair smells really bad! Never pick any part of a bead that cracked of the mandrel and thats not why those little glasses of water are on your bench! ie (to put you burned finger in so ya don't tell the teacher what you did!) It's really to cool of your tools!
Cant take the time to read everyones mistakes so if this happened to someone else I'm sorry but my most awfull mistake was to wear a "V" neck blouse to torch in, Yep right down the front between the two girls
Oh, and where there's smoke, there definately IS fire. Don't ask me how I know.
Oh yeah, and *sometimes* when there is smoke, it might from your didys (now melted) and oven mitt that you left on top of the kiln. And if you try to get them off the kiln quickly and drop them on your synthetic carpet, it will melt and smoke like crazy too.
Or it might be the new t-shirt you meant to change before torching. Good thing I had my granny pants on!
Don't use the butter knife you have just had near the flame to shape a bead to then swat a mosquito on your arm...
Picking glass out of your bare feet hurts...skin smells when it burns. . . so do fingernails. . . and don't roll your bead in a plastic jar w/ frit..they tend to melt