and hugs to Melissa, Dave and everyone who has had a loss.
Dave - you're wonderful to try and help Melissa out so much. I think when you mention "...keep a round rod of some sort to keep reaming the hole, to prevent it from collapsing..." I figure you meant a "tungsten" or other metal rod or pick, right? Brass works well too, such as those made by Maria Richmond, Whimzacalities on LE. If whatever you are using is filed into a point, as well, this is helpful. I recommend though that you use it "outside" of the flame; direct flame can cause the glass to stick a bit and that causes a who lotta other difficulties. In addition, there are the "Bail Biters" that are sold often in the Bead Classifieds here on LE. You might want to post a "Wanted..." in Garage Sale; someone may have a pair you can pick up at a pretty fair price.
Melissa, darlin' - so sorry for your loss and you've had a tough few years. I know that in time you'll find confidence to give this a try...just be patient with yourself and it will come.
I understand your hesitation...it is part of the reason I wrote this tutorial in the first place. I think no matter how long it's been since the passing of your beloved family member/pet, the FIRST TIME you try this it feels a bit strange as you simply don't know what to expect. But you just might be surprised to discover not only the peaceful remembrance I hope you'll experience when you do try, but the joy you'll have at your accomplishment and pride you'll feel when you wear your finished work.
Wishing you all peace...
De